HIDDEN LEAF VILLAGE GRAND SPORTS FESTIVAL

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MOVIE ActionNaruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow

REVIEWS

• 

  gigachickenplurbes

  83/100
  the greatest shit ever taken

  disclaimer (CRUCIAL): for the intended experience, read this review while listening to "Antonio Vivaldi - 'Allegro non molto' from "Winter," from "The Four Seasons", if you dont, the artistic quality of this review will drop significantly.

  oh, the bowel movement. truly vital for the health of a normal human being. but in the face of a 2 week vacation, and a pink haired girl ready to kill you for it, is it all that important? and what happens when you turn this scenario into an ova?

  only the greatest 10 minutes of my life.

  the plot is simple: naruto ate a bit too much instanoodles, and hes in a sports festival. the prize for winning the festival is a vacation. in the world of ninja, you dont really get opportunities like these. most of the time, you are chasing snake people that take your hb. so a vacation would be pretty nice.

  naruto doesnt care about the vacation though. aspiring hokages never rest, after all. what aspiring hokages DO accomplish is brilliant strategy.

  what im talking about is the shadow clone usage. for some reason, the stalls in the festival are packed. even the fourth hokage got revived to take a shit. so what will a normal person do? wait for 3 hours?

  thats not a valid choice for a man who ate 7 ramen bowls. the only logical solution is to assemble hundreds of clones to hog the stalls for you.

  rookie mistake. watch out for clones gaining sentience.

  so plan a failed, big deal. plan b is to use the portable toilets outside, right?

  rookie mistake. you should watch out for human bowling balls next time, boss.

  alright, plan c should 100% work. the plan is to go for the bathroom thats a bit farther than the one thats packed. sounds simple, go in, take a shit and go out.

  rookie mistake. watch out for insect people.

  just as naruto was gonna scramble for a plan d, sakura drags him to the last race (she wants that vacation). naruto, wanting to finish asap and take a shit, outspeeds everyone to win the race and get it over with. truly a hokage contender-

  rookie mistake. watch out for medal ceremonies.

  conclusion: naruto, with nowhere to go, shits himself in front of everyone. truly a noble move. when you think about it, it truly aligns with his philosophy, which is to defy all expectations, and apparently shitting in a packed stadium.

  aside from the jokes, this ova really was brilliant. its a nice break from the heavy themes found in naruto. when you constantly watch a boy fail to save his hb from a snake guy, you really need to take a break, and watch the boy shit himself.

  i believe that to become the hokage, you need to have the guts to shit yourself.

  most naruto ovas are dogshit
  this one was an exception
  i highly recommend watching this

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